Life can be very frustrating if you don’t understand how the “mirror of life” actually works. It is easier to place blame on others, get caught up in the drama or bad things that happen to us. We try to set expectations and to control things but it only leads to disappointment and unhappiness. Our minds don’t want to accept that we are actually the ones that are making these bad things happen… to ourselves!
Eventually, the frustration causes us to become naturally defensive and stubborn in our views. Our sarcasm and cynical views start showing others our level of frustration. Even in a joking way.
Don’t allow the lack of understanding drive you to unhealthy thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Instead, begin to learn how the mirror of life works. This exercise helps you adjust your view and your habits (actions). Ultimately, this will increase your happiness and sense of connection and purpose.
Are You Capable of Seeing Yourself?
Fact – it is difficult for anyone to see their own reality through the veil and fog of their own self-perception.
Years of mental conditioning form our viewpoint and our beliefs. We spend most of our lives defending our broken and learned belief system. Our minds quickly label and judge our perceptions in rapid-fire pattern matching that is not very accurate.
We instinctively blame our situation on things external to ourselves to protect and defend our fragile ego (our sense of self). The expectations we set are a feeble but useless attempt to control life vs. working to understand it. Our thoughts try to support our interpretations and defend our reality. Reality is simply our own personal viewpoint and perspective, but both are usually filled with assumptions and wrong perceptions.
I’m obviously not here to sugar-coat it for you. I am here to help you understand how it really works.
When we have an understanding of life, we do not get caught in the traps of our mind. We become freed from suffering when we know the source of our thoughts and feelings. When we understand the influence of our ego, we can work to eliminate the cause of our unhealthy reactions.
How Things Happen to Us
Be open to the understanding that life is simply the result of your own:
- Thinking
- Words
- Actions
It sounds a little strange, but your outer situations come from within you. Like a mirror, what you see and feel about yourself is exactly what you will get back.
The Mirror of Life – what you feel about yourself is what you will get back in life.
When you finally come to this realization it will be very exciting. Like a bright light shining in your face. The darkness and self-doubt that has surrounded you (possibly for years) will finally be crystal clear.
If you feel unsure about yourself…. you will get that feeling back.
If you feel lonely…. you will get back more loneliness.
If you feel you feel acceptance for yourself…. you will get back more acceptance.
If you feel doubt, worry and fear… you will get those back in your life.
The mirror of life can get a little tricky if what we feel about ourselves is not clear and purposeful. Its important we have understanding, compassion and love for ourselves. This is why it is important to resolve our inner conflicts and to work on ourselves.
Things become even clearer when we learn to remain in the present moment, observing without reacting. We will begin to see our patterns, our reactions. The fog and veil of our self-perception begins to fall away and we can truly see again. Like the miracle of a blind person being able to see. At that point we can begin to reconnect with our authentic self and realign with our true purpose.
The Fog of Our Self Defense
We are conditioned from a very young age how to protect our beliefs and the view of our self (our ego). The sad thing is that we cant even feel or see it happening to us. As we get older, this self-protection kicks in automatically without our awareness. As we get older we begin building walls around our openness and we begin to judge differences more frequently. We begin to lose our ability to see ourselves clearly (and our situations).
We believe that our inner voice or our gut feelings give us proper guidance. Know now, that your thoughts and your feelings cannot be fully trusted. Most of our thoughts and feelings serve our ego (false self) and are skewed from past traumatic events. Much of our thinking triggers our self-defenses out of fear or vulnerability.
Self-defense is good if you are getting beat up by a neighborhood bully or are being chased by hungry lions. But in order to work on ourselves it is important that we keep our defenses down and our mind calm. One way to do this is through mindful breathing.
The Tricks of Our Mind
Our brain, mind and our perceptions are very tricky to see through. Our brains are a highly complex computer that will play tricks on us. There are some excellent brain teasers and optical illusions that show us we cannot trust our brains processes. These illusions demonstrate the pattern matching and adaptability of our perception. Our self-awareness can be very difficult to adjust once we have locked-in a repeating pattern.
Science is proving that more and more of our thought is handled “unconsciously” without our awareness. It is estimated that over 90% of our daily actions are done without our awareness. Mindfulness helps us be more aware of what our brains are up to. The more we can be present in the moment, the less we are lost in wrong perceptions or suffering.
Breaking Down the Walls We Build
We must start with learning how to lower our defenses and become more open to understanding and change in ourselves, even if its painful. This openness to change is so important and critical in receiving what we truly desire. We tend to try to avoid anything that has the potential for pain.
According to the Buddhist culture, pain and happiness are called “organic” in nature. Meaning that they are of a changing nature. Pain and suffering can be a good thing. Without them there can be no contrast of happiness. Try not to fear or avoid things that can cause suffering. Try not to label them as bad or build them larger in your mind than they are.
We need to be willing and prioritize working daily to improve ourselves and learn about how life really works.
Begin to be open to seeing the issues and obstacles within ourselves. These are the obstacles holding us back from receiving the life we really desire. Growth is not easy, but the reward and personal growth are without measure.
Awareness is the First Step
Through this first step in awareness we begin the process. We begin to be able to observe ourselves and our behaviors. You will begin to be able to “catch yourself” reacting in ways you didn’t realize were happening. Don’t be discouraged by this step. It is a very positive step in your awakening. Opening your awareness to your old self.
We do not want to fight, suppress or ignore our feelings or our thoughts. These feelings and thoughts, no matter how dark, are part of you. Likely, our thoughts and feelings have been running wild since we were children. We were never really taught where they come from and how to calm them. Most are a result of undesired habits. We will begin by simply observing our thoughts and feelings in a heightened state of awareness.
We All Need Someone to Help Us
You have the power inside of you to make happen what you want for your life. It begins with being open and honest with yourself. This means lowering your defenses and making the practice of “working on yourself” a daily priority. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Lowering the walls we have built can be hard and scary. We all need help and support from others. We need someone that cares enough to help us see what we cant see in ourselves. Someone that will not feed our “old patterns of self”. Maybe this is a spouse, a friend or a coach. However, this should not be someone that wants to fix us.
Be careful about self stubbornness. It can hinder your growth. Be strong enough to face a new, uncharted path of openness and growth within your life. Life is sitting there patiently waiting for you. You simply need to connect with it instead of trying to control it with your expectations.
Wishing you peace and love,
Until next time…
– Greg
