A mother on vacation with her family, took her 3 young children on an ocean ferry traveling from one port to another. It was storming that day and the waters were very rough. As waves crashed into the boat, the water came up over the rails and began to flood the decks. The other passengers on the boat quickly became very nervous talking about the waves. As the mother looked around, she could see panic and fear on people’s faces.
Fear Begins to Form
To calm the people on the boat, the crew told the passengers that it was going to be ok and offered life vests to those who wanted them. The life vests were supposed to make people feel more safe, but they actually made people more fearful. Thoughts began to race in the minds of the passengers and people began to assume the worst as they talked to one another:
“Why are they passing out vests?”
“Do they think we are going to sink?”
“Are we going to be ok?”
At this point, the mother of the 3 children really began to panic as the fear built up around them. The wind was blowing, the water was splashing and spraying. She began to get a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
As the mother was trying to keep her kids close, one of her younger girls was tired of standing next to her mom and ran off. The mom panicked and chased after her, but the child was too fast and squeezed between the grouping people.
Panic Sets In
The mother was frantic as she lost sight of her child. She grabbed the other kids and kept running towards her daughter. Horrible, fearful thoughts went through her head as she saw her daughter run around the corner. She pictured her daughter falling off the boat into the large ocean waves.
When the mom finally caught up to her, the mom was startled by what she saw. The child was laughing and splashing in puddles on the deck. The mom noticed that a few members from the crew were splashing with her. Then her attention was drawn to an older man wearing a white uniform and white hat.
No Fear At All
The mother quickly scolded her daughter and asked why she ran off. The child knew she was in trouble and said to her mom,
“I saw the puddles and wanted to play in them. You know I love to splash in the rain”.
As a child, she had no concern about the boat. She had no fear or previous experiences to make her scared. She simply wanted to have fun and play in the water.
The mom, who was crying in panic and fear, grabbed her daughter and hugged her tightly. The daughter was confused and couldn’t understand why her mom was so scared.
When the mom looked more closely at the man in the white uniform, she noticed that the man was actually the captain of the boat!
The captain told the mother that there was really nothing to fear, the boat was perfectly safe. He told her how joyful it was to see the smiling face of a child splashing in the puddles. As a grown-up, he had forgotten how much fun it was until seeing her daughter playing even in this scary circumstance.
The older man thanked the little girl for helping him remember. Then the captain suggested the Mom and her daughters to return to the main passenger area. The boat would be coming into port shortly.
As they got closer to the port, the waves began to settle and the mom felt very relieved.
Calming the Storm of Our Mind
There are many lessons to be learned from this story. First, the mom needed to observe her mind without judgement when the fear first set in concerning the waves and the weather. When we are calm, we can see more clearly and are not distracted by whatever storm is going on around us.
Whether it is a real storm or an emotional storm surrounding our life, when we feed or nourish the fear in our minds, it gets stronger and makes our situation worse. The opposite of what we need at the time. We need to be mindful and simply anchor ourselves in the present moment (observing instead of reacting).
One of the best tools we have to calm our minds and return us to the present moment is Mindful Breathing.
Don’t Feed the Fear – Tenderly Care for It
Secondly, its important to recognize that the child was not nourishing the fear in her own mind, so she was free to be happy and enjoy the present moment, splashing and playing in the puddles. Children often show us the path of purity, clarity and truth. They have not been taken off-course by wrong perceptions and judgement and remain present in the here and now. The captain recognized this truth and the child reawakened the truth within him.
Happiness is available to us in the magic of the present moment (the here and now). We have a choice to accept it or to resist it. If we resist, we will bring suffering to ourselves.
Steps to Help Us
Lets remember this story the next time we are swept off by fear or a storm in our life. Lets commit to working on ourselves and instead of reacting, lets do this:
- Simply observe our sensations (versus reacting to them)
- Don’t feed and nourish fear but recognize it and sooth it
- Begin mindful breathing to focus only on our breath and not our stormy surroundings
- Remain anchored in the present moment without judgement
We have years of patterns and bad habits that have been feeding the storms in our life. It takes practice to transform our old patterns into new healthy ones. Be patient with yourself as you begin to observe the mess your mind creates. Our minds build false stories in our heads based on fear and self doubt.
Begin to awaken your awareness of your mind and practice anchoring yourself in the present moment with simple mindful breathing. This will help calm the storm of thoughts whirling in your head.
Wishing you peace and love,
Until next time…
– Greg
